How to Feel Less Shook Up When You’re Stood Up

self care stood up

My biggest dating pet peeve is getting stood up. I’m sure many of us have experienced planning an evening out and spending time getting ready, only to find out via the laziest text that your date isn’t going to be coming after all. Or there’s the worse alternative: waiting for hours to see if you’ll be getting the “I’m omw.” message and eventually realizing your date bailed without sending you a courtesy text. Getting flaked on can feel incredibly disappointing! As I’ve been stood up countless times, even in situations where sex with no strings was the expectation, I have a couple tips on how to make yourself feel good if your FWB/fuck buddy/date bails on you.

Aromatherapy. I really don’t know anything about aromatherapy but within the last year, friends and the internet alike have gotten into diffusers. I grabbed one myself (for $25CAD on Amazon) to see what all the hubbub was about. When I want to de-stress or feel great I put on the diffuser with the love blend essential oils I bought from Tynan in February. I always feel rejuvenated and desirable when I’ve been soaking in the essence for awhile.

Write a blog post. Writing helps me process my feelings so when a hookup flakes on me, I write posts like this. Dive into your preferred creative element and use your bitterness to help make something productive.

Take some mother-fuckin’ selfies. For me, getting ready for any date or hook up includes at least an hour of preparation. I see this as self-care before my date as I make myself feel foxy and glamorous. The hour(s) leading up to my meet up can be intense, including but not limited to showering, shaving, makeup application, and styling. If a date bails on me, sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted my cute appearance on no one. So instead of feeling bad about looking rad, I take some selfies, post them to the internet and bathe in my beauty.

Connect with your backup. If you’re really in need of some genital mingling, have a backup. Especially if your date is someone who’s cancelled on you last minute before. I like to have a couple options in mind in my head as a backup, and will even text them while I’m getting ready to let them know I might be free for the night. If my date falls through, I can easily text one of my backups to come over.

Shower. Taking a shower after getting bailed on helps me feel cleansed and fresh. A shower or bath can help me wash away my salty mood and helps me relax before moving onto a different activity. Usually, this self-care happens for me right before I’m about to jump in bed, so I can feel soft between my sheets.

Connect with friends. If you’re feeling the need to interact with other humans to help cure your disappointment, call up your friends and/or other partners! I find that being with good humans makes me feel immediately better about being stood up. It’s like your buddies hug your brain until the bitterness disappears.

Masturbate. When a fuck buddy flakes on me, it’s not just my mind that’s disappointed, my genitals start to feel pretty sad as well. My favourite tip (if you’re waiting for a hookup to show up) is to start masturbating prior to their arrival time. Not only does this start off foreplay for you but if they don’t end up showing you can continue by yourself. Don’t neglect your horny state of being!

Get high and laugh. If your back ups fall through and your friends are busy, having a glass of wine or enjoying a nice toke from my bong can help me get my spirits up. I can get pretty giggly and distracted while high, so I set up a good comedy show on Netflix and watch until my sad tears turn into happy ones. Laughter is the best medicine, IMO.

Send a salty text. Letting your date know you’re pissed that they let you down is valid, especially if they failed to let you know or stood you up last minute. I’ve had times in the past where I’ve shrugged off shitty behaviour, and dates have continued to take advantage of my easy-going personality. Sending a salty text helps me get my disappointment out of my system and can let my date know that their behaviour isn’t something I want to experience again.

What are some of your favourite ways to feel better after you’ve been stood up?


This post is sponsored, but, as always, all writing and opinions are my own.

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